Slowly, slowly, I've been working my way into that book. Usually, I throw myself into new 'projects' and I'm not sure if it is the shock of Erik leaving, or the head-cloud caused by the topiramate I'm on for migraines and seizures, but I'm having to do this in small steps. I haven't even gotten to the daily exercises yet. Not even the part where I write out my greatness blueprint.
My Greatness Blueprint.
It makes me laugh.
It sounds so grandiose.
There was this segment where I had to write my 'Why'. Where I had to write about who I am and why I am here - what legacy I want to leave. This bit wasn't hard. I know what I want to leave. I want people to know they are enough.
You are enough.
You are complete.
You have everything within you to do what will fulfill you.
Other people cannot give you power, and that is a good thing because it means other people cannot take your power. Your power is within you. It isn't your body. Your power is your spirit. Your spirit cannot be locked up or killed, and even when you think it may be broken, it isn't because you are still alive.
My 'Why' is to teach people this. Teach them that they are enough. And also that there is love and there is fear, and you can choose one or the other, it is a choice. And lastly, pain is unavoidable, but pain is valuable and to run away from pain, or try to avoid pain only creates more pain because we must learn to value pain and until we learn to value it, we will constantly be confronted with it.
There is someone I want to be, I feel her struggling to emerge.
Have you ever seen a chick break out of an egg? It's no mean feat. It's a slow process and takes a lot of energy and once the sticky little chicky tips sideways out of the broken shell, it teeters about dazed and confused for a while, exhausted from the effort. I think that might be me.