I'm a good person...

I've worried so much this year about what people have said about me. There are many memes on the internet about this topic. They pretty much all say the same thing, don't worry about what other people think about you, your true personality will shine through etc. and so forth. It's hard though when you aren't a people person, when you're naturally aloof, when you are socially awkward to begin with. People who have better social skills can easily take advantage of these flaws as evidence that you are a horrible person.

I'm aware that I have been portrayed as a horrible person to many people who don't know me well.

But you know what? I'm a good person.

I am a good friend.

I am honest - often to a fault. Often, I call the bullshit I see, especially self-pity. This isn't very popular amongst some of the privileged people I've had as friends who like to consider themselves oppressed, impoverished, or otherwise hard done by. I guess, with my background, having actually seen, worked with, and lived with people who really are oppressed and impoverished, I can't stomach the hypocracy of people with access to virtually free education, housing, and childcare, who can afford trips overseas and interstate, who travel away from their kids (because they have support), buy new clothes, go to restaurants and concerts, buy organic food and can afford to be picky about which jobs they would 'like' to take, complaining about how their 'hard' lives are.

This does not make me a horrible person.

I am a good person. I just don't stomach bullshit very well.

I am a good friend. I am kind, I am loyal, I am funny. I will sit with you in hospital for days on end. I will help you clean and pack your house when you move. I will watch your kids. I will talk to you for hours about all the crap you're going through. I will encourage you to reach for your wildests dreams. I will be your PA, your wingwoman, your 2iC, your behind-the-scene person. I will assemble your flat packs. I will skype lunch with you when you're overseas. I will be your employer during those 'dead years' on your CV.

I don't go out of my way to be rude to people. I don't ignore people. I always talk to people who talk to me. These days I don't see people all the time, and now I don't recognise people I have known all my life unless they identitify themselves. Sometimes I smile at complete strangers because I don't know if I know them or not. Going blind is a Russion roullette of social interactions, but I'm never intentionally rude.

I am a good person.

Say what you will.

That's your bullshit.

I am a good person.

I forgive you.