Thursday, June 09, 2016
I've talked about how pain is unavoidable, and how the more you resent the presence of pain in your life, the more you will feel pain. The flip side of this, of course, is that when you find joy, you need to soak in it.
Feel it. All of it.
Feel the pain, really feel the pain. Feel it in every cell of you being, acknowledge it, know it is there, but it is transient.
Then feel the joy, really feel it!
Yes, the joy is also transient, that is why you need to REALLY feel it. Acknowledge it.
Too many people are afraid to acknowledge the joy because they fear people will make light of their pain if they reveal any joy at all. They rob themselves of the joy in their life because they feel they can't have both joy and pain, that their pain can't be real if they don't have joy. They are too invested in their pain. Their pain means too much. Maybe their pain garners them sympathy, friendship, status. Maybe it allows them to feel included in a group, or it ensures people notice them. They are afraid they may be abandoned or ignored if they seem okay. They need the pain, even though the pain is painful.
So, even though they crave joy, they deny themselves joy because joy threatens the security that pain affords them.
Both pain and joy can co-exist. In fact, they must co-exist. There is no joy without pain, and no pain without joy. One cannot be known without having known the other. So, feel them, acknowledge however momentarily and interchangeably they occur.
Don't deny yourself joy!
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