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Showing posts from August, 2016

The good stuff...

Gosh it's a beautiful day today!

I've been drifting in a strange world where time is flimsy, minutes are big, but days are almost microscopic. I have contentment in spasms, or hiccups, and in between I'm not really here because I'm travelling through rough terrain trying to make sense of my life over the last couple of years.

But today I want to talk about the spasmodic hiccups of contentment.

Harlem had his second surgery on Tuesday, and while him needing a second surgery wasn't great news in an of itself, the outcome is very good. He actually limped out of the surgery on all four legs after hopping in the day before on just three. It seems the issue with his patella slipping to the inside of his leg was at the root of him not wanting to use the leg at all. Now that his patella is stable, he seems quite happy to use the leg, though obviously it is still sore after a second operation. He's not at all impressed at having the lampshade back on, but that's tem…

Life work: Why we repeatedly experience the same stuff over and over, and what we need to learn from that...

Over the past 18 months, I've experienced having several people perceive me in ways that have hurt me deeply. They have reacted to me; my actions or words, in ways I never intended and I have been accused of motives I never had. I have tried to re-present myself, I have walked on eggshells, I have raged against the accusations. I have tried everything I could think of to 'change their mind' about me. To little or not avail.
I have wondered why this keeps happening to me, and yes, I have seriously considered that I might just be a terrible, horrible, stupid, lazy, toxic person. I had never considered these things to be part of who I was. I acknowledge I am someone who struggles with diplomacy. I can be honest without filters for cushioning fragile self-esteem. I can be blunt and I have precious little patience for people lacking integrity, self-awareness, humility, or compassion - yes, I need to practice more compassion, myself!
Taking all this into account, I avoid engagi…

Intermitted, surgery, and, oh, I can think again!

You thought I'd given up on this blog, right?

Never!

But I have struggled to sit down at the computer, and even right now, I'm only here because I can't just keep putting it off.

As you can see from the title of this post, I am intermitted from my degree again... What's that, the third time this year? It is hard not to feel like I'm failing, even though I've been reassured so many times that this is perfectly normal and stuff comes up, and well, it's smarter to intermit than to fall behind. I'm quite sick of myself at this stage of my life.

This intermission was taken because the medication I went on in April for migraines and seizures combined basically left me with symptoms of concussion. Then, of course, I actually was concussed in July when I fell down the front steps. Anyway, I spoke to my GP and I have come off that medication and am back on my old anti-seizure meds which I tolerate well. I have been given something to take for the migraines, but …