Saturday, July 29, 2017

Stock take...

I've just realised I've been working full time for three months now. I have never worked full time for this long. That probably sounds strange considering I'm 45 years old, but during the past 27 years of my adulthood I've studied and/or parented babies, so not so surprising really. I'm very grateful to have this job, and to have pretty much walked into a full time job with so much freedom. I have full autonomy in this position, as long as I keep producing the goods.

So, what have I achieved so far? Well, I've put Vision Australia in the north and west of Melbourne in contact with all ten councils in our region, and attended several disability network meetings representing the organisation. I've been offered the vice president role of a board within one of the councils. I've put us in contact with several organisations besides. I've established on new activity out of the centre and have two others in the pipeline. I've taken stock of current client contact, and potential for expansion. I've presented at a university. And so many more incidental activities. I believe I've had a productive three months.

Three months speeds by when you keep yourself occupied. I am aware though that working full time doesn't leave a lot of time, or energy, for doing much else. Besides going to the Van Gogh exhibition earlier this month, I've basically spent most of my weekends on the minimising project. Every Monday without fail I am asked, 'How was your weekend, what did you do?' and every Monday my response usually is, 'I decluttered.' (hmmm, spellcheck doesn't recognise the word 'decluttered', I wonder if that is a reflection of our society's consumerist ideology?). Sometimes I wonder if my life seems boring?

I don't feel bored, but then again, I seriously don't know what feeling bored actually feels like. I've never in all my life - that I can remember - felt bored. Maybe I should feel bored? I don't know. This little uneventful life is just right for me at the moment. I feel content. Possibly that is because all the stress of the past few years has evaporated. I haven't felt this free in a long time. I am feeling very grateful for all of this. For having savings, and cash in my pocket. For having something stimulating where my work is appreciated and not endlessly criticised. Where I don't feel small and as if I am a nuisance. It is a great relief.

So, give me uneventful for now. Give me stability and autonomy. Give me tiredness and sound sleep. Give me a routine. One day I might want more, and then I'll seek more. I'll go to more places and participate more in my community. For now though, I'm content with working during the week and decluttering on the weekend. Listening to novels on my commute. Connecting people. For now not having much to talk about on Monday mornings is enough.

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