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I'm a bit miffed at myself...

Something like three years ago I started the process of learning braille. It was a slow and arduous process. I was one of those people whose fingers weren't really that sensitive at first. Then they got too sensitive and because of my synesthesia, I started to feel sea sick every time I read. So, I didn't practice a lot - which was the wrong thing to do because with practice I eventually stopped getting sea sick. Because I didn't practice a lot, I often turned up to the private tutoring sessions without having done my homework.

After a while, I started to feel a bit embarrassed about not getting the homework done, so I cited my degree as putting me under a lot of pressure (which it was) and took a break. About nine months later I picked up the game again. I did do more homework, though not enough still - let's face it, I tend to switch off at home, no one can accuse me of not having a work-life balance.

Slowly, slowly though I worked my way through the readings and work books and finally in February or March this year I finished the course. As soon as I got this job, I planned to use my job access money to get a BrailleSense refreshable brailler. I knew I needed to get one to keep my braille literacy going. As well as this I also knew that one day I'll need this just to work more effectively. I have to admit though that I haven't done a lot of brailling since I got the digital brailler.




It's showing. I am supposed to be using the brailler to take notes when out and about, but I'm not nearly fast enough to do that at the moment. I also seem to have forgotten a lot of the abbreviations and word signs. I'm pretty annoyed at myself right now. I keep taking the machine home, but as I said, I'm not good at bringing work home, and I'm usually wiped by the time I get home. Honestly, I get home, have a coffee and then go to bed. At about 9pm I get up, cook myself some dinner, watch a bit of TV and then go back to bed. There isn't a lot of time in there for practicing braille and besides I just want to wind down.

This is one of the things about having a disability and working full time (or part time for that matter). So much energy throughout the day goes to all the extra attention used in working around the disability to get the work done in a timely fashion, to get around on public transport, to not fall down because of divots in the footpath, etc. We use twice the energy of an able-bodied person. We're exhausted by the time we get home. On top of that, I'm an introvert, so a whole day of chatting with people, being in a busy office, and traveling on public transport is exhausting enough on it's own.

Anyway, I think I'm going to have to book in with our local braille expert, if she has time, and do some refresher work.


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