Skip to main content

I'm a bit miffed at myself...

Something like three years ago I started the process of learning braille. It was a slow and arduous process. I was one of those people whose fingers weren't really that sensitive at first. Then they got too sensitive and because of my synesthesia, I started to feel sea sick every time I read. So, I didn't practice a lot - which was the wrong thing to do because with practice I eventually stopped getting sea sick. Because I didn't practice a lot, I often turned up to the private tutoring sessions without having done my homework.

After a while, I started to feel a bit embarrassed about not getting the homework done, so I cited my degree as putting me under a lot of pressure (which it was) and took a break. About nine months later I picked up the game again. I did do more homework, though not enough still - let's face it, I tend to switch off at home, no one can accuse me of not having a work-life balance.

Slowly, slowly though I worked my way through the readings and work books and finally in February or March this year I finished the course. As soon as I got this job, I planned to use my job access money to get a BrailleSense refreshable brailler. I knew I needed to get one to keep my braille literacy going. As well as this I also knew that one day I'll need this just to work more effectively. I have to admit though that I haven't done a lot of brailling since I got the digital brailler.

It's showing. I am supposed to be using the brailler to take notes when out and about, but I'm not nearly fast enough to do that at the moment. I also seem to have forgotten a lot of the abbreviations and word signs. I'm pretty annoyed at myself right now. I keep taking the machine home, but as I said, I'm not good at bringing work home, and I'm usually wiped by the time I get home. Honestly, I get home, have a coffee and then go to bed. At about 9pm I get up, cook myself some dinner, watch a bit of TV and then go back to bed. There isn't a lot of time in there for practicing braille and besides I just want to wind down.

This is one of the things about having a disability and working full time (or part time for that matter). So much energy throughout the day goes to all the extra attention used in working around the disability to get the work done in a timely fashion, to get around on public transport, to not fall down because of divots in the footpath, etc. We use twice the energy of an able-bodied person. We're exhausted by the time we get home. On top of that, I'm an introvert, so a whole day of chatting with people, being in a busy office, and traveling on public transport is exhausting enough on it's own.

Anyway, I think I'm going to have to book in with our local braille expert, if she has time, and do some refresher work.


Popular posts from this blog

The symbolism of elephants...

Just recently I've been seeing and noticing elephants everywhere!

A few weeks ago I saw the Samsung Elephant Ad, and watching that led me to watching a video with an elephant painting (seriously, you have to watch it to believe it!).

Then last night the boys told me they were having a free dress day at school to raise money for 'Mali the Elephant' - who turned out to be a paper maché statue which the children will paint and then show around the council before it comes back to the school to stand outside the performing arts room.

Then this morning I followed a link from Twitter to Toushka Lee's blog and read this post about an elephant orphanage in Sri Lanka.

This morning the Grumpy Old Man did another driving test and unfortunately didn't pass. We've booked his next test and are looking forward to that now. About ten minutes before he walked in the door I saw this poster on Facebook...

At the time, I didn't know if the Grumpy Old Man had been successful or …

Alone... And Stuff...

Do you ever just need to be alone?

As the boys are growing up, we have more times when the house is quiet. The youngest will be asleep. One will be reading, one will be playing on his computer with headphones on, one will be painting and there is stillness.

Sometimes, even that is not enough.

Sometimes I crave being alone, with no possibility of someone suddenly realising they have to tell me something important or ask me a question or even just crash about in the kitchen.

Sometimes I crave S P A C E, lots and lots of space, being able to walk from room to room without encountering another soul.

This is how I felt when I woke up this morning, so instead of getting ready for work, I decided to stay home. Get up, but not go anywhere, no hear the sound of my own voice, or anyone else's.

I think this might just be part of getting older. After a lifetime of chasing after other people and trying not to be alone, my mind and body is full of thoughts, experiences, feelings, and busy-ness …

12 Things Happy People Do Differently - a self-reflection...

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the above poster on her wall. I believe she got these points from this blog which she enjoys reading, and the bloggers on the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog derived their discussion of these points from this book, available on Amazon - you're welcome! I have to admit, I haven't read the blog or the book I've just mentioned but wanted my readers to have access to the sources of the poster for their own reflective purposes.
The New Year will be upon us in but a few days and I thought this a great opportunity to do a little personal assessment on how I'm playing the happy game. I'm often not very happy at all - I don't need to be happy all the time, let me just say that up front - I personally believe that life is a balancing act and those who seek euphoria often will also often feel desolation because in all things there must be balance. The great riches of the few on this planet come at the personal cost of the many as is …