Three times in the last week Erik has reached out to his father and me. I was thinking this was a good thing - and possibly it is - however, I've detected a pattern...
So, the first time was when he tapped me on the shoulder, as I mentioned in a blog post last week. That time, he wanted me to contact my brother to ask about Erik getting a tattoo. Of course, if he is determined to get a tattoo, then I'd rather he get it from Mike because I trust him. At the time I didn't think too much of it because, well, I was just happy he even spoke to me, something he hadn't done in nine months.
A couple of days later, he rang Dave. None of his friends were at school, and he was a bit bored, and by the way, could his dad take him for a driving lesson so he could get his hours up... Luckily for Dave, who would not have coped well sitting next to a learner driver in his own car, he had an appointment to go to.
Then last night he called again, but Dave was making dinner and said he'd call Erik back. Some time after dinner, Dave called back. Erik sounded him out about getting back in contact with his Nanna. He said Sam had encouraged him to do this before Nanna died. Nanna is in great health for a woman about to turn 89, her death is not imminent, but he felt he needed to get back in contact with her and didn't want to just lob up on her doorstep. This showed a little wisdom on his part because either his Nanna would give him the cold shoulder, or she would tear strips off him for putting his family through everything he did last year.
Still, it was surprising he wanted to connect with his Nanna suddenly.
Oh, and by the way, did his dad know if Erik still has that trust fund? If so, when would it become available?
Hmmm, are you seeing the pattern?
Dave told him he had no idea what the status of Erik's account was. He didn't know if she'd kept it, or divided it between the other boys - she was quite upset by Erik's behaviour. If she had kept it, it wasn't likely to become available until he was 21.
What cheek - and that is putting it nicely.
Mum would say it was because I raised him wrong. She would say it was because I am like my Nanna and I taught him to be money focused. I can tell you I did not. This self-serving behaviour sickens me. He seems to only be making contact with us to get something for nothing. He isn't getting too far with it, but that is beside the point.
He seems to think we can't see what he is doing. I have to wonder how much Sam is behind this. Well, maybe not the tattoo, but certainly contacting his Nanna. As he said, she has been encouraging him to do that. She seems very manipulative. She doesn't want him to see his parents, but she encourages him to see his grandparents (who, by the way, raised his parents). I have to ask, what business is it of hers?
Her own relationship with her family leaves a lot to be desired, so where does she come off judging our relationship with Erik. Can't she see how he uses people? How he has used her. How he manipulates people? Maybe she thinks that is okay. Maybe that is why she judges us for trying to stop him from doing just that.
In any case, it is disheartening to see that Erik seems to only be interested in relationships he can use to his advantage. Thank goodness none of the other boys seem to have this trait, you know, despite me being so much like my dad's mum, and being such an awful parent, and overall awful person.
I'll leave you all with this thought; isn't it funny how it is the narcissists who accuse other people of being toxic and horrible when those people stop being useful to them or won't stand for being used and disrespected?
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