Giving, it's not hard.
It doesn't have to be material giving.
I've been thinking that I need to give more.
I need to give more presence. I often find myself trying to do several things at once. Sometimes that soothes the restlessness in me. In the long run, though, it's a selfish habit. Giving something your full attention is a sign of respect for the thing or person who has your attention at that moment. It shows that this exercise, or this person is important. That they come first in that moment. It means you are more likely to remember what you've done and said, and with people, what the other people have said. I've read that listening should be hearing the other person, not preparing your next response. I'm guilty of spending the gaps between one thing I say, and the next thing I say, preparing my response instead of really listening to what is being said to me. I need to work on giving more presence.
Giving patience is another one. Patience and its cousin Understanding are often abandoned because of the lack of presence. I often find myself being impatient for the other person to get to the point. Often this is directly related to me having planned my response and just wanting to get to the place where I can give that response. The response isn't as important as the patience to listen and understand what is being said, both the verbal and the non-verbal.
Giving my best. I know I fall short of this one all the time. It is related to not being able to give patience. In my rush to get things done, I often skip the effort of giving my practice my best. I give 'good enough', I know I do, because it is easy, it takes less time, and less presence.
All of these things are related, and they are linked to selfishness. Putting my interests and my time ahead of other people's. This is my new habit goal: to give more presence, more patience, more understanding, more effort.
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